When Your Co-Workers Don't Get Along And You're Stuck In The Middle

Untitled design (1).png

In an ideal world, we’d all just get along.  But, when it comes to work (and lots of other parts of our lives for that matter), we sometimes don’t get to choose who we surround ourselves with.  This is tough – especially when you’re stuck with someone you don’t like for hours on end at work.   Different personalities, styles and backgrounds can all come together at work to create some serious clashing on all fronts.  This means, it’s really not that uncommon for co-workers to dislike one another – or even hate each other (yikes!). 

From time to time, we might even find ourselves caught in the middle of a workplace battle.  We might end up stuck between two people who don’t get along and want to involve us in the drama of the situation.  This can be uncomfortable and stressful – especially when we plain don’t know what to do. 

Here are three tips for how to manage this tricky situation, what to do when your coworkers hate each other and you’re in the middle:


Tip One:  Don’t Choose a Side

Do you best to remain neutral at all times.    Don’t engage in any sort of gossip about your co-workers or choose sides.  Things can get toxic if your co-workers hate each other and chances are they might even be poising your work environment.  You want to stay as far away from this as possible.  Getting involved in discussions about these co-workers, in even a small way may tarnish your reputation and could even impact your performance review.  Steer clear, stay neutral and don’t choose a side.  This is good for your mental health and your professional brand.


Tip Two:  Set and Communicate Clear Boundaries

 Setting meaningful boundaries personally and professionally is going to be key to your success.  When we have healthy boundaries, we can accept positive people and actions in our lives.  At the same time, we protect ourselves from people and situations that are harmful.

When it comes to co-workers who hate each other, set clear boundaries by openly communicating that you won’t get involved in their situation.  It’s okay to be very clear and say things like “I understand Lisa is bothering you, but I’m not going to engage in a discussion about her with you so we need to end this chat here.”   Sure, people might not like how direct you’re being here.  This is about you protecting yourself personally and professionally – not them.  I want you to know that you deserve to set a boundary around this and adopt a ‘laisser faire’ attitude around what others may have to say about it.


Tip Two:  Discuss Concerns With Your Manager

 If two co-workers hate each other, it’s pretty likely that this is going to have an impact on your ability to get your job done.  This is especially true if you need both parties’ participation in a project, for example.  

If your co-workers not getting along is starting to have an impact on your ability to do your job effectively you need to address this with your manager.  The best bet for an effective discussion is to focus on facts, removing emotion.  This makes sure your account of the situation is professional and ensures you won’t be seen as a complainer.

Being caught in the middle of two co-workers who hate each other is so tough.  This can only go on for so long before it will start to impact your engagement at work.  Remember to stay as disconnected from their drama as possible by setting healthy boundaries.  It’s not your job to manage your co-workers, so when the time comes you’ll need to leave addressing the situation.