Five Things You Should Know About Infertility
1 in 6 couples in Canada are struggling with infertility
In the past three years, struggling with infertility I have learned a lot about the topic and I have learned a lot about myself too. When a challenge like this comes up in our lives, I think it's natural to want to learn all we can about it. I've spent endless hours researching the topic of infertility but I think the true depth of my knowledge comes from my own experiences. Here, I share five things everyone should understand about infertility. I hope this will help you through your own struggle or to support a woman you know.
1. Infertility Is Exhausting - Emotionally, Physically and Mentally
As my husband and I embarked on this journey my emotions took on a life of its own. One day you're happy, another you're okay, the next you're a mess. Infertility is a roller coaster of emotions. Random thoughts and worries pop into your mind constantly. Keeping track of the medicine and managing the questions that come up in the regular course of life are enough to tire anyone out. Although I would never wish infertility on anyone, I so wish people were more understanding and with foundational knowledgeable on the topic. What causes me the most heartache is feeling like I am letting everyone down. My husband, my family, my friends and ultimately myself.
2. Infertility Is Isolating
Look around, how many people do you know that have children? The answer is a lot. I notice children everywhere and I can't help but feel excluded from this exclusive club of precious little families. When you have infertility issues, like I do, you are always comparing yourself to other women. I know this isn't right, but let me tell you - it is real.
With infertility, it's a constant internal battle. I can't help but wonder why it is so easy for so many women to get pregnant. I wonder why I'm here, alone, struggling to conceive a baby. It's also really isolating knowing you are the holder of the physical issues, and not your spouse. This gives me a sense of responsibility over the problem and tend to make me want to retreat while my thoughts are filled, wondering if I will ever experience motherhood.
3. Infertility Is More Common That You Think
Although infertility can be extremely isolation, it is surprisingly common. Infertility is something that is rarely talked about, but yet so common. 1 in 6 couples are struggling to get pregnant in Canada (Source: bodyandhealthcanada.com)
Sometimes I feel like my body is failing. This leaves me feeling like I have been defeated. Sometimes I just want to give up. But, there is an entire community going through infertility issues and we are actually not alone at all. Each infertility story is unique, yet we are all connected in our journey. Having others understand what I am going through keep me strong and focused on the most wonderful outcome.
4. Your Pregnancy Announcement Hurts
Please don't get me wrong, I am happy you are pregnant. I'm happy that you had no issues getting pregnant (or overcame infertility yourself). I don't wish infertility issues on anyone. I like to think life doesn't throw us things we can't handle but this is really hard. I am excited to see your growing belly, your ultrasound pictures and the birth of your miracle. I really am happy for you, I am also just sad for myself and those things are almost impossible to balance.
5. I Am Capable of Much More Than I Ever Thought
Some days I don't know how I haven't given up. Going through this journey has taken a toll on my body, mind and soul. But I honestly, I can't imagine giving up. The outcome to this journey is enough to keep me strong and motivated. It's hard living day to day with this. I feel like it is always a heavy weight on my shoulders that I can't seem to shake. Yet somehow, I keep on going. All my life I knew the one thing I wanted to be was a mother and I will keep fighting until I am there.
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This is a Guest Post By Danielle Howe. After struggling with infertility for years, Danielle Howe is opening up about this heartbreaking experience. She wants to be a Mom so badly and she's doing all she can to make it happen. Here, she shares a look behind the scenes of infertility and her road to motherhood. She's still on that road today and openly shares her story to remind others that they're not alone in infertility. She also inspires through her positive outlook.
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